Inside My Heart
by yumeyana
Summary: Hi minna! This is my first fic concerning Hiei's feeling towards Kurama. Just read!


Inside My Heart  
  
  
  
Hi minna! This is my first fic concerning Hiei's feeling towards Kurama. Hope you all enjoy reading! Thanks to Umi-chan for the support! Thank you also to Hikaru-chan for the support and inspiration you've given me. Dedicated to my dear friend Layme-chan!  
  
  
Ja ne!  
  
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Kurama, Kurama, Kurama.   
  
You'd think I'm just his friend... well, you're right.   
  
Kurama was the only person who cared for me, who loved me like a friend... a brother. He was everything I could ask for. But there was one problem.  
  
I fell in love with him.  
  
Yeah. You heard me right.   
  
I fell in love with my best friend.  
  
Why?  
  
Hn. His hair is a definite example. The way he'd toss he's blood red hair, the way he'd brush up his bangs, the way he's hair would sway along with the breeze.... the way it smelled.... so fragrant... so soft.  
  
And then, there were his eyes. His beautiful emerald orbs that showed concern whenever I'd get hurt, bruised, or whenever I'm about to die. Then again, how it shone at the very sight of me... nobody's eyes shone at the sight of me! All their eyes would do, was to dart from one side to another, looking for a place to escape.   
  
  
But not him.   
  
  
  
Not Kurama.  
  
  
His eyes reflected those of a gentle human... a loving ningen... a caring friend. He was so caring that I hated it once. I hated the fact that he seems to forget that he's still a Makai thief... a kitsune... a feared youkai.  
  
  
But all these things, I began to learn to accept. I began to see the deeper meaning behind all the things he'd rather forget... that without Minamino Shuuichi, he wouldn't be Kurama.   
  
  
I actually admire his patience when it comes to those imbeciles.... when it comes to me. He was so supportive... so loving. There was too much of him that no matter how I try, makes him so lovable... so unforgettable.  
  
  
Time and again, I would tell myself that this love I feel for him will never be reciprocated... that I have to forget everything. But memories of him just linger back into my mind...  
  
  
  
  
"Hiei! Don't waste your life force just to perfect that damn technique! It's not worth it, Hiei! Hiei!"  
  
"Shut up damned kitsune! You don't understand anything about power! It's my dream to perfect the kokuryuha! I need it to protect Yukina! I'd risk my life just to protect my sister!"  
  
"And don't you know that I'll risk my life to protect yours?!"  
  
"What do you mean, Kurama?"  
  
Before I knew it, his hands were around my waist, shouting at me over and over again that I should stop it... that I should stop it.  
  
"Tell me, Hiei, tell me... could you protect Yukina if you're already dead? Could you, Hiei? Could you?"  
  
"Release me, Kurama! You might get swallowed up by the kokuryuha! I don't want you to get hurt!"  
  
Kurama held on tighter.  
  
"And I also don't want you to get hurt, Hiei! So..."  
  
Suddenly, Kurama's voice cracked. Warm tears began to flow down his eyes, touching my cold skin.  
  
"So... stop ... stop it... Hiei... stop it..."  
  
The strong wind that was surrounding me stopped.  
  
A person doesn't want me hurt ... but... why? What do I do now...   
  
  
  
I turned around and faced a kneeling and crying kitsune. I embraced him and just shut my eyes close and remained silent.  
  
"I... I lost a friend... before... I don't want... to loose one... again," he said in between sniffs.  
  
I held his gaze and traveled deep in into those emerald depths.  
  
"You won't, Kurama. You won't. I'll always be here..."  
  
I tried to wipe his tears, but then I failed. My body suddenly became frail and I fell into to his open arms.  
  
"K... Kurama..."  
  
"Shh..."  
  
He closed my eyes, knowing how tired I am.   
  
"Thank you, Hiei for listening to me. Arigato."  
  
Kurama kissed me slightly on the forehead, something I certainly did not expect from him.   
  
He's a devil that looks like an angel when he sleeps. Hn. I'm so lucky to be his friend...  
  
  
  
  
He kissed me slightly on the forehead.   
  
Why? Why would he ever do that to me?  
  
'Maybe he's in-love with you too.'  
  
Kurama? In-love with someone like me?!   
  
'Why? He didn't want you to be hurt, right? It's because of him that you're still alive.'  
  
Hn. Maybe so.... HIEI NO BAKA!!!! A guy like Kurama can never be in-love with me!   
  
'I was just thinkin' you know.'  
  
Hn. Kurama. Kurama took care of me after that. We spent his summer vacation, training and training day and night, pausing only to eat Kurama's delicious cooking. Ha! That man is one hell of a cook! His pastries were as sweet as him. Huhum. I sure miss those stuffs.  
  
  
One night, as I was watching him by the tree near his room, I saw him reading a book as he always was. But this time, it was rather different. As he was reading that book, it seemed that he was reading it aloud. I came closer to hear his words, to hear what was in the book...  
  
  
  
  
"For shame! deny that thou bear'st love to any,  
Who for thyself art so improvident  
Grant, if thou wilt, thou art beloved of many,  
But that thou none lovest is most evident;..."  
  
Kurama suddenly stopped reading as if sensing something. Or someone.  
  
"Hiei. Do come in. You can't hide from me, you know."  
  
I let out a resigned sigh. I walked slowly towards Kurama's window (which was opened by now), and somehow, as if it was almost usual, in a flash, I was beside him, the window now closed.  
  
"You always do outsmart me, ne kitsune?"  
  
He smiled and laughed softly.  
  
"I didn't know you were interested in sonnets, Hiei."  
  
"Huh?! What do you mean? Is that what you were reading, Kurama?"  
  
He smiled once again and shut the book gently.  
  
"Yes. Shakespeare wrote it."  
  
"Shakes... who?"  
  
"Shakespeare. Sir William Shakespeare. He writes one the best poems, Hiei."  
  
Kurama said those words with such admiration that it made me wince a bit.   
  
"Well, from what I heard from you, he's really quite something."  
  
Kurama's eyes went incredulously wide.  
  
"Really, Hiei?"  
  
I really don't understand it, Kurama, but I like the way those words come out from your ruby red lips.   
  
"Yeah. Why don't you read out some more?"  
  
Kurama's eyes sparkled and opened the book once more.  
  
Hiei no baka! That was a real close call!   
  
  
"For thou art so possess'd with murderous hate  
That 'gainst thyself thou stick'st not to conspire.  
Seeking that beauteous roof to ruinate  
Which to repair should be thy chief desire.  
O, change thy thought, that I may change my mind!  
Shall hate be fairer lodged than gentle love?  
Be, as thy presence is, gracious and kind,  
Or to thyself at least kind-hearted prove:  
Make thee another self, for love of me,  
That beauty still may live in thine or thee."  
  
  
  
  
"Ah. Such fine words. When he does it, it inspires me to do my own."  
  
"It inspires you to write also?"  
  
"Yes. I love the way he writes those sonnets. The way his words flow, so figurative, so romantic..."  
  
Yes. I am not the romantic kinda guy but Kurama is. I know how emotional he can get when it comes to his dear kaasan and to his friends...  
  
'Especially you.'  
  
Hn. ESPECIALLY ME. He pronounces every word with such emotion as if he was the one saying those words to his love. How I wish it was for me that he was saying those words! But he can never know of my emotions. NEVER.  
  
"You know, Hiei, the poem, rather, the sonnet is something that can come from you," he said teasingly.  
  
"I can't really understand you, kitsune," then as if changing the subject," Why don't you write one now?"  
  
"Me? Write a poem, now?"  
  
"Yeah. Why?"  
  
"It's just that I don't think I'm good enough to write ones like those."  
  
I flashed him a quarter smile. His humility and modesty overwhelms me as much as his beauty.   
  
"Write one, Kurama," I said, pushing him towards his desk. I reached for a pen and a paper and patted him on the back.  
  
"Read it to me afterwards and I'll tell you if you're good enough or not, ok?"  
  
  
"Oh, alright."  
  
I smiled again (damn it! this smiling thing ruins my image!) and sat on the chair near him. It was kinda fun watching him think, then write, then erase, then write again. But as usual, I was beginning to be so impatient. Unexpectedly, I dozed off, leaving my poor sweet love, writing and writing.  
  
Poor sweet love?! Damn! Where do I get these words?!  
  
'It's from your heart, baka!'  
  
from mine, or from your head?  
  
'Just stick to the storyline, Hiei, or you'll leave MY KURAMA, and be with KUWABARA instead.'  
  
YOUR KURAMA? When did my best friend become yours?  
  
'Hmp! Just stick to the story or else... Kuwabara will be with you as a life-long partner!'  
  
I grunt but then, if I would be with that baka, I'd rather be with Kurama.  
  
"Hiei," Kurama whispered in my ear.  
  
The heck! I smiled again. It was so nice to feel his warm breath touch my skin. It was just as if he breathed my name. Oh how I love it!   
  
I raised my eyebrow at the author but did not comment. It's hard to comment!  
  
I opened my eyes slowly and darted my eyes towards the clock. 12:45 a.m.  
  
"You stayed up late just to finish this?" I asked as he handed me the paper.  
  
"I couldn't stop writing. And besides, I was suddenly inspired. Read it aloud, Hiei!"  
  
I looked at the paper with his handwriting that was very neat and beautiful, mind you, and began to read.  
  
  
"For love is much unfair as the world is,  
I, myself, hurt and feeling so forlorn  
Gone is right, for thyself, all is amiss  
My life, my heart, broken and torn.  
If thy hadn't been so beautiful,  
Thyself would deny thy feelings for thou love.  
But forbid me not; Thine be a fool,  
For thou can replace all the jewels that I have.  
Thou must hate me not, and love me dearly,  
For if thy does not, I would rather die.  
Open thy eyes, open, and see clearly,  
Though the world's greatest lover is not I:  
All these are not lies; all these are for you,  
Let thee hear that thy love for thee is true."  
  
  
  
  
"What?" he asked and looked at me expectantly.   
  
"I must say that this is extraordinary."  
  
"Really, Hiei?" he asked, his eyes widening.  
  
I really did think it was fantastic. It seemed like his feelings flowed through his words.  
  
"To whom do you dedicate this?"  
  
"Oh... no one in particular."   
  
"Oh..."  
  
I must admit I was kinda dismayed, though I knew I'd rather hear that than hear him mention a million girl's names that would just make me jealous.  
  
Kurama raised an eyebrow and added nonchalantly, " Maybe I'd dedicate it to Yumehime-chan instead." (ooh... I love being the author! ^-^ )  
  
Great! You brainwashed my best friend!  
  
'Hiei! I did not brainwash your best friend. It's an author's right to spice up the story!'  
  
Whatever!  
  
'Is it me or do I smell jealousy?'  
  
Just write, ok?! Stick to the damn thing!  
  
'Yumehime-chan snickers'  
  
"... or even to you, Hiei," Kurama said in a low voice.  
  
"Nani?!"  
  
Kurama looked at me straight in the eye and just swallowed me into those emerald depths as always. I suddenly blushed as he narrowed the distance between his and my face.  
  
I blushed?!  
  
'Shut up and get back to your part!'  
  
I muttered something about a crispy author as I continue my part.  
  
Why is Kurama so serious? I mean, was he serious when he said he could dedicate it to me?  
  
The distance between our faces now was approximately only two inches. Then closer.... and closer... and....  
  
  
Suddenly, Kurama burst into laughter.  
  
  
"Haha! Hiei! You were blushing, koorime!" Kurama said in between his laughter. He was now rolling on the floor, still laughing his heart out.  
  
"What's so funny, kitsune?"  
  
"You blushed, Hiei! You blushed!"  
  
I scowled at him. I didn't think it was funny. I really didn't. I thought it was quite embarrassing. I hated being embarrassed especially in front of Kurama.  
  
Then, Kurama stopped laughing and sat down beside me.   
  
"My little koorime is mad at me," he said, softly ruffling my hair as if I was a dog.  
  
I glared at him. I glared at the author.   
  
'One word, Hiei. One wrong word.'  
  
"Ooohhh! Please don't use your kokuryuha on me, HIEI-CHAN!  
  
"HIEI-CHAN?!!?!!" I cried out, walking towards his bed, then sitting on it, my feet still dangling a bit.  
  
Kurama walked towards me and sat on my lap. My eyes widen in shock as he did something I didn't know he could do.  
  
"What do you think of me, HIEI-CHAN? How would you describe me?"  
  
  
  
I didn't answer the question. I never did. I traveled from tree to tree and came to a garden well hidden in the small forest in the city. This is the place where Kurama and I talk about things and train at night. I came down from the tree and walked, deep in thought. How can or how do I describe Kurama? I know what I love about him and yet I'm brain-dead when it comes to describing him. I walked towards the rosebush and picked one of its flowers.  
  
"A rose. That's what describes him best. Gentle, red as his hair, its petals as soft as it too. But like any other rose, he has his thorns. He is a worse enemy more than I am. His past is one of his thorns. The past that I and only I know.  
  
"Not to mention his intelligence that makes him so much admired by the female population. "  
  
"Kurama... you are so romantic, so sweet, so poetic, so loveable, so full of life, so deep... so beautiful."  
  
I sighed. I am right.  
  
"Kurama, you are beautiful."  
  
  
"I'm beautiful? Why thank you, Hiei."  
  
My eyes widened as I turned around and saw Kurama standing a few meters away from me.  
  
God! He is so beautiful.  
  
Sunlight shone on his face making his eyes sparkle like diamonds and his hair shine. A light breeze blew through his hair. I sighed inwardly as his ruby red hair flowed with it and as his hand combed his hair into place.  
  
"I didn't know you liked roses, Hiei."  
  
I looked at the rose in my hand, realizing that it was still there. On an instinct, I gave it to him.   
  
"How did you know what I was saying?"  
  
Kurama sauntered towards me and replied in a soft voice, " I believe you were talking aloud."  
  
"I ... was ... talking ... aloud?"  
  
I stammered. It wasn't like me to stammer.  
  
"Yes, you were."  
  
"You heard everything I said?"  
  
"Quite."  
  
Then flashed me a concerned look as if to change the subject at hand.  
  
"You look tense and pale."  
  
"Me?!"  
  
He smiled.   
  
God! Why does he smile so beautifully?!  
  
"Why don't we grab some ice cream to bring back your color?"  
  
"Snowy ice?!" I suddenly cried out.  
  
Kurama chuckled and held my hand as if I was a small child.  
  
"You'll never lose that sweet tooth, 'ne Hiei?"  
  
I just smiled at him. At the person who knew everything about me. At Minamino Shuuichi. At Kurama. Never in my entire life had I smiled so willingly. And never had I met a person so exquisite and beautiful. God! I knew I was lucky.  
  
"Thank you, Hiei."  
  
I looked at him incredulously and asked," Doshite?! What for?"  
  
He smiled again and replied, "For the praises and..."  
  
  
He stopped short.  
  
  
What will he say next?  
  
  
"... and for the friendship that we share."  
  
I smile at him once again as a silent sign of agreement. Yes. Our relationship as friends will stay forever. Even if it hurts that you seem not to know my feelings for you. I'll be your best friend. And I'll always love you, kitsune.  
  
Ai shiteru, Kurama…  
  
Itsu made mo…  
  
~ Owari~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Yumehime-chan: Wasn't that a nice story, Hiei-kun?  
  
Hiei: I must admit, yes. But I can never forgive you for manipulating me and making me say all those lines, Yumehime-chan!  
  
Yumehime-chan: Manipulating? I thought those words were true?  
  
Hiei blushed.  
  
Yumehime-chan: Gotcha!  
  
Hiei glares at Yumehime-chan.  
  
Hiei: JAOH ENTTATSU KOKURYU...  
  
Yume-chan: HIKARU-CHAN! KURAMA-SAMA! HIEI'S GONNA BURN ME ALIVE!!! AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hikaru-chan: Never hurt my hime!  
  
Kurama: Stop it Hiei!  
  
Yume-chan: *drools* Guess I win again. ^-~  
  
  
  
Standard disclaimers apply.   
  
  
mbrm2116  
1J2k1  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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